What is it to be a good mother? There isn’t a manual that provides you with the precise steps to be a successful mother. No, it’s trial and error and hoping along the way it doesn’t become a disaster. Over the years of being a mother there was always a lesson to be learned and sometimes even from my children.
Unfortunately your first born sometimes serves as your test run, they are a part of your vital education for being a mother – so trial and errors begin. Mountains of errors before you walk on flat ground. At times the oldest will even point out , “You never treated me like that?”
There isn’t anything simple when you teach a child yes and no because some children are very inquisitive and ask why? I think this is very exasperating at times when it’s always why instead of yes. Babies are relatively easy to handle since they do not challenge you, but a toddler can be overwhelming. Incessant chatter, demolition of the house and of course, they love to say no! It’s easy to comfort them when they fall, you kiss them and give them many hugs. You tell them you love them and they never question that love – quite different when they get older.
As they grow you begin to try to mold them into individuals that would grow up to be productive human beings, yet you want them to be unique. They are your shining stars and with every achievement your heart swells with pride, and you think they aren’t ordinary but very special. You live vicariously through your children and think just maybe they will do everything you hoped for.
Along the road you travel with them, You teach them to respect others; self worth, discipline, and solid values. You guide them to walk that straight narrow and hope they won’t stray or compromise their belief system – or really it’s your belief system. You teach them not to lie or steal and you teach them that each action rather good or bad always comes with consequences. You hope these values sink into the core of their existence. And if you’re spiritual you stay in a positive realm – that your children will be fine. If you are religious your kids attend church and you hope they discover that having faith can sustain many disappointments that they may encounter in the future.
When you have to discipline your children – you hide your tears until you can cry in the privacy of your room because no parent ever wants to cause any discomfort by scolding the love of their life – you love your children relentlessly – they are the best of you. You choose your battles carefully because you carry such love for them. Sometimes you were too sharp with them, sometimes inpatient and even sometimes you were selfish and hoped they would occupy themselves whereas you would have time for yourself. Being a mother can become exhausting at times. All the many times you didn’t really listen because mothers too, become self absorbed in their own issues. After all contrary to what your growing children think you are not invincible – you are a human too and each day you are evolving in different ways just as they are.
The time comes when they are young adults and it tugs at your heart and you wonder where the years disappeared. However for you they will always be your babies. You marvel with their new found independence, you applaud their success and you weep when they fall short but you always tell them they have the power to succeed at whatever their endeavors will be.
Motherhood was a challenge and along the way you wrote your own manual of the do’s and don’ts of being a mother. You made your share of mistakes and a few regrets that linger close. You carried them over the mountains sometimes with tears, but the laughter that followed was always abundant. You are so proud of your children who are now young adults. It was a pleasure to be their mother and you are forever indebted for the privilege of motherhood..
Serenity1956's Blog 